Tag Archives: Self Help

Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife (Gen 39)

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Bible Summary:

Joseph is a very successful slave to Potiphar, one of the Egyptian king’s guards, and is put in charge of everything in his household. Potiphar’s wife seduces Joseph but he continually declines. She entraps Joseph by snaring his robe and telling her husband he tried to rape her. Joseph is sent to prison, but soon becomes responsible for everything there.

My Thoughts:

Confidence: No matter how bad things get, Joseph keeps his head. I believe his confidence comes from knowing that God has a plan for him.

Service: Joseph serves others and is rewarded with more responsibility each time. He must be a great manager to be put in charge wherever he lands.

Jacob’s Son Judah (Gen 38)

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Bible Summary:

About the time Joseph is sold, his brother Judah leaves, marries, and has three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. Er marries Tamar but is killed before they have children, so Judah tells Onan to sleep with her to fulfill his brotherly obligation. Onan spills his semen on the ground knowing the children will not be his. Onan dies too, so Judah sends Tamar to her father until Shelah grows up.

Years later, Judah’s wife dies and he mourns her. With face covered, Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute on the street and sleeps with Judah. A few months later, Judah is told that Tamar is a pregnant whore. Judah orders her death, but Tamar proves that he is the father. He agrees he has failed in his obligation to give her Shelah to marry.

Tamar gives birth to twins. An arm comes out first, so the midwife ties a red thread around it. Zerah pulls his arm back in and his brother Perez is born first instead.

My Thoughts:

Family Obligations: Once there was a young couple who had a heated battle over where to spend the holidays between their families. They finally agree on a schedule and everything smoothes out between them. A week later, his mother calls crying about Uncle Jim who just passed away. The young couple argues over fitting the funeral, a four hour drive away, in for a great-uncle they barely knew. They decide not to attend.

Thanksgiving comes and goes with little fanfare, then a week before Christmas his mother calls, “I almost forgot to tell you, we won’t be home for Christmas.” He asks, “Why’s that?” She says, “Well, Uncle Jim gave everyone who attended his funeral $50,000 plus a two-week cruise. We’re all leaving Christmas Eve.”

Family obligations can be difficult to deal with – from holidays and weddings to funerals and caring for disabled members. Approach them each with love and you will be surprised how much easier they will pass for all. And, you never know what might happen.

Brothers Sell Joseph (Gen 37)

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Bible Summary:

Joseph, Jacob’s first son by his cherished wife Rachel though twelfth of thirteen overall, turns seventeen. Jacob makes him a special robe, which proves to his brothers he is the favorite. Joseph’s half-brothers hate him even more after he reports bad things to father and later tells them of two dream where the family bows to him.

One day, Jacob sends Joseph after his brothers tending flocks in Shechem. Joseph catches up to them in Dothan, but his brothers see him coming and plot to kill him. Reuben tries to save Joseph and talks the other brothers into throwing him into a dry well instead. Upon seeing some travelers, the brothers decide to profit from Joseph, pull him out of the well, and sell him.

The Midianite traders take Joseph to Egypt and sells him to the king’s captain of the guard while the brothers deceive Jacob with Joseph’s robe soaked in goat’s blood. Jacob thinks Joseph has been killed by a wild animal. He tears his clothes off, puts on a sackcloth, and says he will mourn Joseph until he dies.

My Thoughts:

Fairness: Once there was a family get-together and everyone sat around a table talking. Mother got up, left, and returned with a cake. She asked each person if they would like some. One was watching her sugar and another was pretty full from dinner so they took small pieces. One was on a diet and another did not like the flavor so they declined a piece. One only liked frosting so asked for a corner. One took a large piece. The last two and mother had average size pieces. A third of the cake was wrapped up and stored in the freezer for later.

Most pieces were not the same and some people went without, but all were satisfied.

Jacob’s Daughter (Gen 34)

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Bible Summary:

Jacob’s only daughter Dinah is raped by Shechem, the son of chief Hamor. Shechem then tells his father he wants to marry her. Hamor and Shechem bargain with Jacob and his sons for Dinah. Jacob’s sons require Hamor to circumcise all his males. Hamor agrees and gets approval from the townspeople to allow intermarriage by saying the Hivites could gain all the Hebrew wealth.

After all Hamor’s men are circumcised, Jacob’s sons Levi and Simeon avenge their Dinah’s disgrace by killing all the men of the village, including Hamor and Shechem, and taking all their possessions, women and children.

Jacob chastises Levi and Simeon for igniting a potential war with the other people of the area that could destroy his whole family. They reply, “We cannot let our sister be treated like a common whore.”

My Thoughts:

Revenge: Jacob seems more concerned about the repercussions against his family then the fact that his sons just killed all the men in the village. He understands that revenge is circular. Feuds can last for years or centuries.

Decisions: The story illustrates the difference between two decision-making styles. Jacob is more of a chess player, looking at everything at stake and the potential outcomes before acting in comparison to his reactionary sons who put the whole family in danger. It was a lot different back then with no laws, police or courts to settle issues like this and meter punishment.

Rape: After 4000 years, rape is still prevalent today. The United States is 6th in the world with 1 in 6 women having experienced at least an attempt (see Wikipedia Rape Statistics). Rape is never right, but I wonder if rates are higher in the U.S. because of suggestive TV shows, movies, and women’s clothing.

To Women: I am sure you have heard many times the defenses against UNknown attackers (take self-defense classes, carry pepper-spray, travel in groups at night, etc.), but be sure to learn what to do against KNOWN attackers.

Boyfriends are the hardest to deal with since so many other thoughts and emotions will distract you. Don’t be forced, bullied, or humiliated into doing it. If you do not want to have sex, you do not have to have sex. Say “no”, yell or scream “stop”, stand up and leave. If necessary, hit, slap, or kick him or lock yourself in the bathroom and call for help.

You may feel embarrassed, concerned about what your friends will think, or worried about how you are going to handle your relationship with him later. All this pales in comparison to what you will feel if you allow him to have sex with you unwillingly. It will affect the rest of your life. Be strong!

If he won’t listen about your wants and needs then he isn’t the right guy for you anyway. Don’t worry about losing him; you WILL find a nice guy. You are a beautiful person and you deserve better.

To Men: when a woman says “no” she means “no”. Respect her and yourself. Go for a long run, swim, or bike ride. Come back and talk to her. Let her know you will wait until she is ready.  You be strong too – in this way.

Risk

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To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss,

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.

– William Arthur Ward

Jacob Faces his Fears (Gen 32)

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Bible Summary:

On his return home, Jacob sends messengers ahead to tell his brother Esau how he had been delayed at Uncle Laban’s. The messengers return to warn him that Esau is on the way with 400 men. In fear, Jacob divides his people and animals in two, in hopes that one group might escape.

Jacob prays to God about his fear of Esau and reminds Him of His promise to keep them safe. Jacob sends hundreds of farm animals ahead as gifts to Esau in hopes of being forgiven for taking his birthright twenty years earlier. Later, he takes his wives, concubines, and eleven children across the Jabbok River to safety, and then returns alone.

A man arrives, wrestles Jacob until daybreak, and knocks his hip out of joint. Near daylight, the man asks to be let go, but Jacob demands to be blessed first. The man commends Jacob for successfully struggling with God and men, changes his name forevermore to Israel, and blesses him.

My Thoughts:

Fear: Jacob still fears Esau’s revenge for taking his birthright, even after twenty years in hiding at Uncle Laban’s. After bringing his family to safety, he fights his fears (the man) and wins. To honor this victory, the now bolder Jacob is renamed Israel.

Fear is everywhere today – in the news, on the streets, in our homes. We fear the shaky economy, losing our job, someone invading our home or stealing our car, “those people”, “that part of town”, getting cancer, failing, getting rejected, and so on.

But, fear is the only thing holding you back from a fulfilling and happy life. You need to put aside the fears you cannot control and push through the ones you can. Through repetition, the fear will diminish and soon disappear altogether.

Jacob Quarrels with In-Laws (Gen 31)

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Bible Summary:

Jacob realizes Uncle Laban and his sons do not like him for taking their wealth.  God tells him to return to Canaan, so Jacob complains to Rachel and Leah about their father’s attempts to cheat him out of his wages.  Jacob’s wives agree to leave since nothing is left to inherit and their father treats them like foreigners.  They leave in a hurry with all their animals and belongings.  Unknown to Jacob, Rachel steals Laban’s household gods.

A week later, Laban and his men catch up to Jacob.  In a dream on the way, God warns Laban not to threaten Jacob, but he feigns the hurt father who didn’t get to say goodbye and then confronts Jacob about the stolen household gods.

Jacob says he left in a hurry for fear that Laban would take his daughters back and challenges him to search for the household gods.  Laban unsuccessfully searches all the tents as Rachel hides the household gods in a camel saddlebag under her.

Jacob rants to Laban about hunting him down for no good reason, about giving him twenty good years of work, fourteen to win his daughters and six for his flocks, about suffering the heat of day, cold of night, and sleeplessness, and about incurring the loss whenever a sheep was killed or disappeared.  On top of that, Laban tried to change his wages ten times but was confounded by God each time.

Laban yells back that he owns everything, his daughters, their children, and all the flocks, but then agrees to a truce because there is nothing he can do.  Jacob can leave with everything after he agrees not to mistreat Laban’s daughters or marry another.  Laban and Jacob promise not to attack each other, then celebrate over a sacrificed animal.  The next morning, Laban kisses his family goodbye.

My Thoughts:

Appreciation: It’s easy to get lulled into the repetition of everyday life and forget to acknowledge or appreciate the people around you.  Laban learned this the hard way when his daughters and grandchildren suddenly disappeared one day over his son-in-law feeling cheated.  Be sure to appreciate those closest to you today!

Family Owned Business: Working with family can be very difficult.  The skills that made the business survive and thrive in the beginning, like minimizing expenses, can be a great area of contention when the expense is the other family member’s wage.  Many families struggle or even dissolve today over similar issues to this story.  And, it sure doesn’t help that Jacob is the son-in-law when there are other sons.  You might want to consider talking your kids into a different line of work.

Jacob Bargains with Laban (Gen 30: 25-43)

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Bible Summary:

After the birth of Joseph, Jacob asks his uncle Laban to let him return home to Canaan with his wives, children and earnings.  Laban asks him to name his wages.  Jacob says he has made Laban’s flocks prosper and does not want wages.  Instead, he would like all the black lambs and spotted and speckled goats.  Laban agrees.

Laban tries to trick Jacob, removes the blemished animals, and has his sons take them three-days journey away.  Jacob uses stripped tree branches to entice the remaining unblemished animals to mate, which results in streaked, speckled and spotted offspring. Furthermore, Jacob entices healthy animals to breed but not the weak.  Soon, Jacob owns all the healthy flocks and Laban is left with weak animals.  Jacob becomes very wealthy with many flocks, slaves, camels, and donkeys.

My Thoughts:

Smarts beat Tricks: I think the morals of this story are to be smart about your actions in life and that playing tricks on people will come back to bite you some day.  Jacob is very knowledgeable about breeding, which allows him to get his agreed wage after Laban tries to trick him.  Of course, you might say Jacob just “out-tricked” him.

Assets over Income: The most important lesson from this story is that assets are more important than income.  Assets, like the livestock of old, will continue to produce value for you long after the income is spent.  All the rich people of the world understand this rule and guard it with their life.  Why do you think there is an income tax and not an asset tax?

Jacob has Children (Gen 29: 31-35, 30: 1-24)

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Bible Summary:

Since Jacob loves Leah less, the Lord gives her children but not Rachel.  Leah has four sons, including Reuben, and expects Jacob to love her more after each one.

Jealous Rachel tells Jacob to give her children.  He erupts that God is to blame for her lack of children.  Rachel gives Jacob her slave Bilhah so she can have a child and ends up with two sons.  Not to be one-upped, once Leah stops having children she gives Jacob her slave Zilpah who then has two sons.

One day, Rachel asks Reuben for some mandrakes.  Leah complains that she has already taken her husband.  Rachel bargains a night with Jacob for the mandrakes.  Leah becomes pregnant again with a son and later has another and a daughter.

Then God answers Rachel’s prayers and gives her a son, Joseph.

My Thoughts:

Change Fallacy: Expecting someone in your life to change after some significant event is achieved is a recipe for heartbreak.  That person has likely been that way their whole life and will not change unless they choose to change.  Your choices are: (1) talk to the person about the issue and ask if they will change, (2) accept the person for who they are, foibles and all, or (3) leave the situation.

I suspect that second marriages are more successful because people learn the grass is not always greener.  Having been through it once before, they realize nobody is perfect and then accept those foibles.  So, take a deep breath and try to look beyond those idiosyncrasies, try to find those reasons you got married in the first place and nurture them.  Try to talk.

Blaming God: This story blames God for controlling Rachel’s ability to have children.  We all like to blame God for our misfortune.  Why doesn’t He give us what we want so badly right when we pray for it?  I love the movie Bruce Almighty when he says “Yes” to all the prayers and chaos ensures.  Sometimes your prayers are answered later, maybe years later.  Other times they are not answered but something even better happens.  Try not to blame God next time, but look for the reason.  What are you supposed to learn?  And by all means, thank God when your prayers come true.